Recently

I started writing some long opus about how the practice of the Lord's supper doesn't make sense anymore, but I got bored with it and realized how prententious my writing has gotten, so I deleted it all. I think I'd rather write about the same old thing.

Life has had its ups and downs this semester. I've missed a TON of class, and I feel all the worse for it. I'm pretty sure it won't affect my grade too negatively, but I certainly won't be able to keep up that spotless 4.0 anymore. My level of interest in my classes has waxed and waned, but now, once again, its on the rise. I love what I'm learning in Greek, and I love how it really does improve my understanding of Ancient Philosophy this semester and hopefully even more so for New Testament next semester. Dr. Wansink tries to incorporate a little greek here and there in Old Testament and Ritual Studies for me and Christa, and of course Dr. Woods will throw in a greek concept here and there in Ancient Philosophy.

Dr. Woods has gooten me very excited about the Philosophy department. He is a vegetarian, he loves to play guitar, he is level headed, and I think he will help me greatly in my constant struggle to find meaning in the universe. Along with Dr. Goold, I feel like I am on the cutting edge of progressive thought when I talk with them, but what is equally important is that both of them are human beings who have interests like I do and are academically minded like I am.

But I do have one criticism for Dr. Woods, and Dr. Wansink for that matter: Where is the passion? I think the best way to learn anything is to hear two violently opposing sides to a certain issue and then have a logical battle of arguments until I can decide the merits of both perspectives, and then make a decision. This has held true for religion, and after heading up my youth group and sunday school, along with countless hours of prayer and earnest dedication to my church, and then coupling that with heavy reading of atheistic philosophers and talks with friends of mine, particularly Amber, Malkiewicz, and Laura, I believe I was able to come to a solid, dialectical understanding of religion. I felt like I was progressing as an individual by treating aspects of my life in this way, this back and forth dialectic. But with the people in my life that I respect most, all I get is a middle of the road sort of outlook on life. Maybe that is good way for people to live at that point in life, but it leaves me in a state of aporia and having me fail at effectively judging the value of things. Of course, one cannot be criticize on an objective level as to how they live their life, but on a subjective level I am dissapointed withthe lack of intelligent bible thumpers and heartless atheists in my life. I do, however, have hope that this lack of dialectic will resolve itself as soon as I begin the procress of self-betterment that I underwent in previous years.

Speaking of self-betterment, I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a while, and I've been trying to eat at least 2 good, complete meals daily. I plan on employing a regimented exercise schedule for myself starting this week. Its unfortunate that I got this motivation a week before thanksgiving and 3 weeks before Christmas break, but hopefully I will be able to keep the exercising up at least partially over break.

I need to clean my room. And I need to start playing my guitar daily again (actually, I have been playing a lot recently). I need to be more active in my fraternity. I need to have more good, long discussions with people fro back home (a glimmer, of which, I experienced the other day with Bob). I need to do all my homework. I need to have some sort of academic pursuit outside of schoolwork. And above all, I need to start living right, being an ethically and morally minded human being. I need to define who I am, because in the course of my year and a half at college, I've lost my identity. As Sartre would have put it, I have the power to constantly recreate myself. Instead, I have been breaking down the walls of my personality without re-erecting new ones. This will change, I hope, as soon as I begin having fruitful discussions and a fruitful academic pursuit other than what I'm learning in class.

I'll write again soon, I'm sure, since Thanksgiving break is on its way and I always have reflective freetime at home.

Just So You Know...

I've been inspired to try writing in this again, so stay vigilant over my blog so as not to miss the next post...